How to Make a Million Dollars Playing Video Poker

I’ll level with you – if I knew some secret method for making a million dollars on video poker, I wouldn’t be blogging right now. I’d be in the Alaskan wilderness catching salmon or just sitting on my back porch cracking open a beer.

So how can you become a video poker millionaire? The truth is, there is no one secret method that will turn you into a video poker millionaire. I’m suspicious of “get-rich quick” ideas of any variety. As a general rule, the less work something requires, the less effective it is.

I can think of a few outside-the-box ways to put two commas in your bank account playing video poker:

You could win a million dollars playing progressive video poker. Of course, you’d have to win an unlikely number of progressive jackpots to total $1,000,000 – video poker progressive jackpots are considerably smaller than slot machines, resetting to between $500 and $1,500, and rarely paying off more than two or three times the reset amount. Don’t forget how rare progressive video poker games are – you won’t find a single progressive video poker game on the Vegas Strip or anywhere in Atlantic City.
You could sit around putting money in the machine until you hit an uncanny streak of luck. Let’s say you’re betting max, $5 per credit and $25 credits per hand. If you could string together enough $30 payouts in a row, you’d eventually win a million bucks. It would take 200,000 straight 6-credit wins (to offset the coast of each round’s maximum bet), and would certainly raise some eyebrows at the IRS, but I suppose it’s technically (given enough decimal places) “possible.”
You could have a really gnarly slip-and-fall accident while playing a video poker machine. If it’s found that the casino was negligent in inspecting and maintaining their property, you’ll be entitled to compensation, damages, and (in rare cases) a punitive award designed to teach the casino a lesson they won’t easily forget. It’s within the realm of possibility that you could win a million-dollar settlement. Of course, this is abuse of the system, and it would make you a horrible human being. It may backfire too – the court may throw the case out, especially if there is no evidence of negligence.
Those three ideas are pretty far outside the realm of possibility. Instead of slipping in a spilled drink, waiting for a mathematical miracle, or losing your shirt chasing progressives, I suggest a more level-headed approach.

The Three Basic Tenets of the Video Poker Millionaire
The three tenets listed below aren’t exactly secret. They’re freely-available all over the Internet. I can vouch for this fact, as I’ve written dozens of blog posts on these topics over the years.

Once you’ve learned how to play video poker, all you need to do to (one day) make a million bucks playing the game is follow these three simple rules:

Learn Basic Strategy
If you want to have fun in Vegas and don’t mind eventually giving your entire $100 bankroll to the casino, you don’t need to worry about strategy.

If your plan is to earn a million dollars from video poker, you have to become a graduate student of gambling. It helps if you have a good library near your home, since some of the books you’ll want to read aren’t all that available online. In fact, if you live near a state university with a decent research library, you’re a step ahead.

While you’re at it, subscribe to some gaming magazines. If you’re mostly going to gamble in Vegas, subscribe to some Vegas content, too. Join a couple of forums. Depending on where you live, you may be able to find seminars in your area teaching legitimate video poker and other game strategies. By the way, this isn’t something you can do once or twice a year for a couple of years and be done with it. With new games come new strategies, and with new casinos come new opportunities for advantage gambling. You’ll really need to become a lifelong student of gambling and game strategy.

Choose Player-Friendly Games
Unfortunately, the heyday of +EV video poker is long gone. You can still find a few high-paying titles that make a special trip to a specific casino or website worth your time. Specifically, there’s enough 10/7 Double Bonus and full-pay Deuces Wild on casino floors in the gambling Meccas of America to keep things interesting. If you are absolutely determined to earn a million bucks from video poker, you should probably stick to these titles only, since any other titles are going to retain too much of your money over time.

If you don’t mind gambling a little (or waiting a few extra years to earn your million), you can play some of the 99%+ titles that casinos still host. These are generally available whether you’re online, in Vegas, in Atlantic City, or elsewhere in the USA. The so-called Not So Ugly Deuces games (which we call 25/16/10) is popular and gives the casino a less than a quarter-percent edge, as do most casino’s versions 9/6 Jacks or Better, and the venerable 8/5 Bonus Poker with a return of around 99.1%.

Casinos love to put sub-99% video poker games immediately next to identical games set high. This is especially true in the few casinos where you still find full-pay titles. This means you absolutely have to inspect every pay table before you play.

Manage Your Money (and Earn Comps)
The kind of dedication it takes to become a gambling millionaire means that it shouldn’t be hard for you to rigorously control how much you spend on video poker. But since you should always bet maximum, your wager size and scope are pretty limited. Instead of worrying about bet sizing, focus on earning those crucial additional benefits casinos give their loyal customers. That means joining the players club, exchanging club points for cash, scoring multiple-points promos, entering raffles and drawings, playing in video poker tournaments, remembering to mail in those bounce-back rewards clipping coupons, and doing all those annoying things that tend to make a casino trip less fun.

In exchange for a little bit of what always feels like wasted time, you’re putting a big dent in the casino’s edge. If you’re already playing +EV games, using comps basically extends your tiny edge. Not a statistically-significant amount at first, but over time, it makes a big difference.

Conclusion
I’m at the end of the post, and I have this nagging question at the back of my mind. Is this even possible?

I did some math – always a dangerous proposition – and came up with some interesting figures about this hands-off method of becoming a millionaire on Jacks or Better. To earn $1,000,000 playing 10/7 Double Bonus (which gives you about a 0.17% return per hour, when playing with perfect strategy), you’d have to play for 294,117 hours. That’s assuming you can play 80 hands an hour perfectly, making no strategic mistakes at all. That works out to about 100 years of playing the same game for eight hours a day.

Having said that, you could always form a partnership with other players working towards a common goal – but then, you’re not really a millionaire, are you?

All told, I think it’s an interesting question to answer and a good teachable moment. I am sure that someone out there has earned a million bucks (or even more) playing video poker, but they’re probably some sort of outlier, with an uncanny ability to play long-term and the best-odds games making very few mistakes. It’s also possible that a person would earn a million bucks worth of comps given enough time and enough loyalty at the right casino.

Gambling Games that Are Really Worth Trying

New gambling games are introduced on an almost daily basis in casinos around the world.

Most of these new games are slot machines, but video poker variations and other types of games are being developed also.

Here’s a quick overview of some of the newest games you should try the next time you have a chance.

Game Star Video Poker from IGT
The Game Star is a video poker machine from IGT that has 7 new games in one cabinet. You choose which game you want to play when you sit down and single hand and multi hand options are available.

Here’s a list of the seven video poker games you can play:

Stud Choice Poker
Dual Action Poker
Flush Fever Poker
Extreme X Poker
Lucky Quads Wheel poker
Look Ahead Poker
Super Look Ahead Poker
In Stud Choice Poker you get to pick from two hands and then play five, six, or seven card stud. The 5 card stud pay table is better than the 6 card, etc. When the game starts you pick between two different two card hands, and then pick the pay table you want to use. Then the rest of the cards are dealt and the hand is completed.

When you play Dual Action Poker you play a single hand of poker and can win on two different pay tables. Your best hands will be paid from both pay tables.

Flush Fever Poker has a feature where any hand resulting in four to a flush automatically redraws for an extra chance to hit. If you land four to a flush in the bonus game the hand redraws until you hit a flush for a guaranteed win.

Any time you hit a full house or better while playing Extreme X Poker you unlock the fever games and a multiplier.

Lucky Quads Poker awards a special spin of the wheel for any four of a kind or five of a kind hand.

Look Ahead Poker is a neat concept that I’m surprised took this long to find its way into a video poker game. When you bet the maximum coins you can see the next card to be dealt. This adds an interesting strategy decision to the game.

Super Look Ahead plays the same as Look Ahead Poker except you can burn the next card in the deck if you don’t like it.

Peek & Play Poker from IGT
The Peek & Play video poker game from IGT is designed to give players a greater feeling of being in control and being able to alter the outcome of the game through strategy.

While playing Peek & Play you can pay a fee, called a buy a pay feature, to peek at the next card in the deck.

The game is loosely based on the popular Jacks or Better game with the minimum paying hands being jacks or better and two pair, each paying 5 coins for a 5 coin wager. The top payout is 4,000 coins for a royal flush.

New Bally Slot Machines
Bally is one of the biggest slot machine manufacturers in the world and they keep putting out great new games. Here’s a list of some of their new slots games with a little bit of information about each.

I’m not a big slots player but I like to see the new games and designs that slots companies come up with. They need to keep designing bigger and better games to keep players interested and coming back for more.

Betty Boop’s 5th Avenue – A 5 reel 30 pay line slot machine using the popular Cash Wheel Bonus system. The game has a shopping theme and has three different jackpot possibilities.

Cash Wheel Black and White – Cash Wheel Black and White has 5 reels and 25 pay lines. This slot machine has a bonus game where you can win up to three free spins on the bonus wheel and a free games feature that gives you 12 free spins.

Dragon Spin – This machine has five reels and 30 pay lines along with five progressive jackpots and three different free game special features.

NASCAR – Cashing in on the popularity of the racing league, NASCAR features the U-Spin wheel, three bonus features, a choice of the best drivers on the circuit, five reels, and 30 pay lines.

Blazing 777 Triple X – Blazing 7’s is a throwback to the simple times in the slot machine industry. With only three pay lines and three reels this is my kind of machine. But instead of just being a plain Jane machine, it has a progressive jackpot and random multipliers of up to 5 times.

Diamonds of Dublin – The Diamonds of Dublin slot machine has three reels and a fancy green theme with shamrocks and diamonds everywhere. It has a set jackpot and the shamrock acts as a wild symbol.

Garden of Amazon – With 25 pay lines and five reels, the Garden of Amazon slot machine may sound like lots of other games but it features a free spins bonus game that can be retriggered, three different jackpots, and a 20 times multiplier bonus.

Quick Hit Wild Blue Free Games Fever – The Quick Hit Wild Blue slots game has a ton of special features. Players can unlock 10 free spins that can include two or three times multipliers and locking wild symbols. The game also has five different jackpot levels and scatter symbols.

Dollar Streak – Dollar Streak slots has five reels and 20 pay lines. This slot machine has two different progressive jackpots, great graphics, and a free games feature.

Mustang Money 2 – Including a major and minor progressive jackpot along with a 10 free spins feature and Mustang Money wild reels, the five reel 10 pay line slots game offers amazing graphics and smooth game play.

Conclusion
Even though casinos have lots of traditional games like blackjack and roulette, take a few minutes to check out the new games every once in a while. After all, the first time you played blackjack it was new to you. How will you ever find a new favorite game if you don’t see what’s available?

5 Things All Casino Gambling Fans Are Sick of Hearing

The life of a casino gambling fan is filled with peaks and valleys. On one hand there are the good days, when chips seem to rain from the heavens and all the cocktail servers are part-time models.

Then there are the bad days, when the old lady with the oxygen tank blows smoke in your face and every game seems out to get you. Of course, that just comes with the territory.

What doesn’t come with the territory, however, are some of the stupid comments you have to listen to while trying to win a few extra bucks. The ones heard in the background are irritating enough, but when the moronic chatter is directed right to your face it’s enough to make you choke someone.

This post details 5 things that all casino gambling fans are sick of hearing. If you’ve already been bombarded with these clichés over the years, then you have my sympathy.

For those who are just starting their gambling careers, get ready to hear these phrases until you’re blue in the face.

1. “This game is rigged.”
Let’s get something straight: casino games are not rigged. Sure, the rules may ultimately favor the house, but they’re also clearly printed for the customer to read.

The idea that the casino would cheat in the middle of play is ridiculous, and it’s one of the most common things that losing gamblers tell themselves. This allows them to take the blame off themselves for their perceived misfortunes.

If you do nothing else, don’t delude yourself into thinking that you’re being cheated. Just admit your role in the process and take your losses like a man (or woman).

2. “The drinks are free around here. Yes!”
Whenever I hear this, I try to get away as soon as possible. These words are usually spoken by someone who loves alcohol, and those free drinks will soon leave them sloppy drunk and wanting to strike up a conversation with their neighbor (in this case, you).

They don’t seem to realize that everything the casino does is for a purpose. When you have too much to drink, your brain ceases to work as effectively. When that happens, your ability to make decisions is adversely affected.

All of these factors add up to an advantage for the house. While you’re chugging down imported beer, the casino is lifting your wallet and quietly removing the contents.

3. “Hey, pal, can I borrow $5? I’ll pay you back after I win.”
No matter how bad your losing streak gets, you should never, ever ask a stranger to lend you money. Not only is it rude, it also puts the other person in an extremely uncomfortable position.

Still, I bet this has happened to me at least six times over the last decade, and I still remember every one of those cringe-worthy moments. At least you can turn down a homeless person while walking in a particular direction. In this kind of situation, you’re a sitting duck with nowhere to run to.

The only time I broke down and floated a loan was to an attractive thirtysomething female, and I still kick myself for that decision. As you might have guessed, I never got reimbursed.

It’s like feeding monkeys at the zoo. Give food to one, and the other will come running. The best policy is not to do it. After all, it’s a casino and not a soup kitchen.

4. “The smoke doesn’t bother you, does it?”
I always cringe when I’m playing slots and a blue-haired old lady sits down next to me. It’s not because I have some beef with seniors, it’s just that I’m fearful they’re a smoker. If they are, you can bet they’ll be fishing out a cancer stick within minutes of their arrival.

I’ve dealt with asthma ever since I was a child. I’ve got a minor case, but it can be aggravated by exposure to certain types of chemicals. Cigarette smoke is definitely on that list.

While I hate for someone to ask if smoke bothers me while I’m obviously turning blue, at least they have the courtesy to inquire. The people I really hate are the ones who sit down and intentionally blow it in my direction.

Here are just some of the chemicals found in cigarette smoke, as well as other places these same ingredients are located:

Butane – rubber cement
Tar – used to pave roads
Arsenic – rat poison
Ammonia – household cleaning products
Methanol – rocket fuel
Acetone – nail polish remover
5. “Time for another trip to the ATM.”
If I had a quarter for every time I’d heard this phrase uttered in casinos…well, I’d have a helluva lot of quarters.

Some players approach the casinos like maniacs, betting outrageous sums of money without even understanding the proper strategy for their game of choice. When they inevitably run out of money, their solution is simple: head back to the ATM machine.

Not only is this stupid, but it’s also a good way to end up with a drained bank account. This is exactly the reason why casinos place ATM machines around in the first place.

It’s also a total slap in the face to the concept of bankroll management. The objective is to play only with the money you can afford to lose, not dip into savings that are being held aside for food, rent, and your child’s college education.

Conclusion
Gambling at the casino can be tough, as a winning streak can quickly turn into a living nightmare. It’s all part of the game, though, and experienced gamblers learn to take the good with the bad.

While players can get used to the ups and downs of gaming, there are some phrases and clichés that are likely to set off even the most seasoned pro. Yell one of these at Doyle Brunson the next time he putters by on his scooter, and he’s likely to try and run you over.